[Deep breaths, Tim. Deep breaths, measured response--no, fuck it.]
Oh, you're one to bloody talk about not being there, aren't you???
After we found out about the thing that used to be Sasha, when we NEEDED you, where were you? What did you do? You cut all of us out, like we hadn't lost her too, like I hadn't
And then you just come strolling back in like we're supposed to just forget you fucking left us in the lurch to go play detective, while we had to deal with Elias and take turns reading those fucking statements, turning into god knows what for the sake of your precious Archives
Fuck right off with that
And it still counts as three counts of kidnapping, you sanctimonious ass
I believe you're referring to the period where I was HIDING from the MURDER CHARGES. When ALL of you thought I was so UNHINGED that I had clearly killed someone. When you were ALL firmly convinced that ELIAS should have booted me RIGHT OUT THE DOOR.
But BEFORE THAT, I was supposed to offer comfort, I was supposed to offer LEADERSHIP when you could hardly be in a ROOM with me over my attempts to figure out WHAT WAS GOING ON. Because clearly, THAT was a fruitless pursuit.
CLEARLY every one in our organization was entirely reliable, no one to worry about. CLEARLY my own boss didn't MURDER my predecessor or anything.
Even when you were still there physically, you weren't really there for any of us, you didn't trust any of us
Bloody Martin practically worshipped the ground you wanked on and you didn't even notice
Walked on
Whatever
You still left the rest of us on our own with no word, no help, nothing. With that same boss who murdered your predecessor. Which, you know, excellent job telling us anything at all
The point is, you're the one who cut everyone out. I just got over it first.
I didn't TRUST any of you because I knew something was WRONG but I couldn't figure out with WHO. A suspicion that had you running INTERVENTIONS on me while that THING ran around with Sasha's FACE on and ELIAS was clubbing old men over the head with a PIPE.
Just because I wasn't doing what YOU wanted didn't mean I wasn't trying to HELP. And I couldn't TELL you because I didn't know which one of you would try to MURDER us.
PLEASE tell me how I was supposed to know which one of you to trust when NO ONE knew about Sasha. When you were all telling me I was INSANE.
EXCEPT for that bit where 'SASHA' wasn't SASHA, of course.
You're the one who got me this damn job in the first
place
You knew me longer than any of the others, and you knew
what Sasha and I were, and then she was dead and none of us knew and then
the thing wearing her was dead and we were nearly dead and you left us like
that
But you're right. How could you ever, ever, EVER
POSSIBLY be wrong???
I KNEW SASHA and that THING had me fooled the same as anyone. For goodness sake, Tim, I was suspecting MARTIN for a time. I didn't
I COULDN'T trust ANYONE. The ONLY one I could trust was MYSELF and TRUST me, I doubted THAT more than once, far too many times in fact, because if I trusted the WRONG one I could get all of the rest of you KILLED.
I CAN'T AFFORD to be wrong, Tim.
[ There's a short pause.]
I couldn't afford to be wrong.
And then I was.
The only reason I'm alive, you're alive, ANY of us are alive, is because of Jurgen bloody Leitner.
Believe me at LEAST that there is nothing I find more galling than that.
[ It's not work hours, so he has to use his keys to get in, but that's not exactly uncommon. He has a bag under his arm, and the perpetual set under his eyes, and he peers around until he sees the box fort in what used to be his office.]
[Are those Tim's legs sticking out from under the desk? Probably. At least he appears to still be living, judging by the gesture makes with one hand, bottle of cheap whiskey still held firm.]
Granted, I suppose. Close enough, anyway.
Didn't take you long to get here. Out there lurking about?
[Despite the words, he almost, almost sounds friendly. Almost.]
[The laugh is sudden, startling and rich, almost too loud in the very early morning quiet, and while there is a touch of mockery about it, it's also less malicious than it could be.]
That's a polite way of putting it. But then, you work hard at being polite these days, don't you?
[Maybe he's just tired. Tired of being so very angry. Maybe he's just sobering up. Either way, there's a long pause before he finally sets the other bottle down, taking the offered box in one hand and sitting up. He's taken off his shirt, using it as a pillow, and his undershirt is wrinkled. Clearly he's been here most, if not all, of the night.
[ He's surprised he'd bought anything, given how long things had been going south. And he's tempted to say that, but instead, he pulls out the other box, a cheaper variety of the same.]
Bought my own.
[ He considers getting his chair before changing his mind and sitting on the ground not far from where the legs are sticking out. He can't quite resist that one, though.]
[It doesn't sound like the kind of question that's meant to be answered, which is good, because no answer would be quite right. After another long moment, Tim shifts to the side. Enough that there might be room for a second body, if he's so inclined.]
I'd say I'm sorry, but I don't think I am. Not really. Not for that.
Oh Tim. Oh you sweet boy. I can't say that I haven't done much the same in my day.
Then I became creepy-creepy and it worked with a certain type of people and that was good enough.
Until a very certain and prominent point? It worked well enough for me. Worked better for others in the things I was willing to do that others couldn't and wouldn't.
'Sweet boy'? You do remember that I am in fact an actual adult, contrary to what Jon might have you believe, yes
Suppose you're right, though, creepy-creepy does tend to work for some. I might in fact know some of those.
Also, easy with the 'my lot,' you know that I never wanted any part of this mess. And there's plenty I'm willing to do that Jon wouldn't and Martin couldn't.
I'm quite aware that you are a fully grown adult, Timothy. Sweet boy had nothing to do with Jon, and nothing he's said to me about you.
Given where my life is now and the things I still need to do? Creepy-Creepy serves me well. You don't actually seem truly bothered by it.
[He's still talking to him, after all.]
Never a slight on you, Tim. It is merely saying that the Institute needs my skills, and they don't care how I get results. They never have. Your lot being the Institute.
I apologize if it's insulting you. Never the intention.
Really? Well then, I suppose I can accept it in the
spirit in which it was given. Pun not intended.
I'm not bothered by you, actually, I've known creepier.
Suppose I am a bit touchy about the institute lately. A lot touchy, maybe.
It's just...grating. To realize I never got a choice in the matter, I just
belong to it now.
It's fine. I mean, really, it's not, but it is, you know? Like I said. Complicated. Also not the point I was trying to make.
Point is, it isn't that often I meet someone I'm interested in more than flirting and fooling around with. She was one. You're another. You, Georgie Barker, are Interesting with a capital I. It's worth a little subtlety, now and then.
for the record? you were being subtle enough that i didn't notice. frankly, i assumed you wouldn't really like me because how things have been at work with jon. and no, i'm not going to ask you or him about it or take sides.
i know jon, i only need to make a few educated guesses but he's not a bad person. whatever happened i hope you both will one day be able to talk things out. or try.
but
what i'm trying to say is, you're interesting too, tim stoker, i wish we had met before. back when you and jon were close. though i suppose at that time he was busy pretending i didn't exist.
i don't see the point of regretting most things, but time wasted like that - i guess, part of me wishes it could be fixed. that things could go back to better times for everyone.
As you've pointed out so charmingly before, Jon and I are both grown-ass men. I might want to hit him more often than not but I don't think he's a bad person, just an idiot. And I'm also not going to make you take sides, obviously
You and I being friends has nothing to do with you and Jon. I can keep those things separate. Although I will say I have no idea how he ended up with someone like you, you're way out of his league
i just wanted to make sure things wouldn't be awkward for anyone. as you rightly said, your argument with jon is with him alone but you'd be surprised how often people don't separate things. how often we're expected to take sides.
listen, i'm very easy to get a date with. all you have to do is like hungarian food and voila. date!
tim, you're prettier than me. that's an actual fact.
i appreciate your honesty. it's refreshing, really, i don't like to pry so it's nice when someone just tells you things without having to play 20 questions.
maybe we should get someone else to decide.
oh, i see you've turned on the charm now, stoker. this clearly means we're going out for hungarian food on the weekend.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
Jon
Date: 2019-01-18 01:22 am (UTC)[Deep breaths, Tim. Deep breaths, measured response--no, fuck it.]
Oh, you're one to bloody talk about not being there, aren't you???
After we found out about the thing that used to be Sasha, when we NEEDED you, where were you? What did you do? You cut all of us out, like we hadn't lost her too, like I hadn't
And then you just come strolling back in like we're supposed to just forget you fucking left us in the lurch to go play detective, while we had to deal with Elias and take turns reading those fucking statements, turning into god knows what for the sake of your precious Archives
Fuck right off with that
And it still counts as three counts of kidnapping, you sanctimonious ass
no subject
Date: 2019-01-18 01:39 am (UTC)But BEFORE THAT, I was supposed to offer comfort, I was supposed to offer LEADERSHIP when you could hardly be in a ROOM with me over my attempts to figure out WHAT WAS GOING ON. Because clearly, THAT was a fruitless pursuit.
CLEARLY every one in our organization was entirely reliable, no one to worry about. CLEARLY my own boss didn't MURDER my predecessor or anything.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-18 01:59 am (UTC)Even when you were still there physically, you weren't really there for any of us, you didn't trust any of us
Bloody Martin practically worshipped the ground you wanked on and you didn't even notice
Walked on
Whatever
You still left the rest of us on our own with no word, no help, nothing. With that same boss who murdered your predecessor. Which, you know, excellent job telling us anything at all
The point is, you're the one who cut everyone out. I just got over it first.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-18 02:05 am (UTC)I didn't TRUST any of you because I knew something was WRONG but I couldn't figure out with WHO. A suspicion that had you running INTERVENTIONS on me while that THING ran around with Sasha's FACE on and ELIAS was clubbing old men over the head with a PIPE.
Just because I wasn't doing what YOU wanted didn't mean I wasn't trying to HELP. And I couldn't TELL you because I didn't know which one of you would try to MURDER us.
PLEASE tell me how I was supposed to know which one of you to trust when NO ONE knew about Sasha. When you were all telling me I was INSANE.
EXCEPT for that bit where 'SASHA' wasn't SASHA, of course.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-18 02:14 am (UTC)Because you KNEW me, Jon
You're the one who got me this damn job in the first place
You knew me longer than any of the others, and you knew what Sasha and I were, and then she was dead and none of us knew and then the thing wearing her was dead and we were nearly dead and you left us like that
But you're right. How could you ever, ever, EVER POSSIBLY be wrong???
no subject
Date: 2019-01-18 02:20 am (UTC)I KNEW SASHA and that THING had me fooled the same as anyone. For goodness sake, Tim, I was suspecting MARTIN for a time. I didn't
I COULDN'T trust ANYONE. The ONLY one I could trust was MYSELF and TRUST me, I doubted THAT more than once, far too many times in fact, because if I trusted the WRONG one I could get all of the rest of you KILLED.
I CAN'T AFFORD to be wrong, Tim.
[ There's a short pause.]
I couldn't afford to be wrong.
And then I was.
The only reason I'm alive, you're alive, ANY of us are alive, is because of Jurgen bloody Leitner.
Believe me at LEAST that there is nothing I find more galling than that.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-02 03:57 am (UTC)Possibly you are invited.]
no subject
Date: 2019-02-02 04:04 am (UTC)Permission to... enter?
[ Wince. ]
I'm not sure of the lingo for, er, forts.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-02 04:06 am (UTC)Granted, I suppose. Close enough, anyway.
Didn't take you long to get here. Out there lurking about?
[Despite the words, he almost, almost sounds friendly. Almost.]
no subject
Date: 2019-02-02 04:13 am (UTC)[ The bait is there, the comments he could make about being accused of 'lurking'. It's an effort, but he just manages it.
One of the bags is pulled open to reveal a rather fancy looking box which is held out and down: Glenmorangie, 18 year rare.]
As we... skipped birthdays.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-02 04:33 am (UTC)That's a polite way of putting it. But then, you work hard at being polite these days, don't you?
[Maybe he's just tired. Tired of being so very angry. Maybe he's just sobering up. Either way, there's a long pause before he finally sets the other bottle down, taking the offered box in one hand and sitting up. He's taken off his shirt, using it as a pillow, and his undershirt is wrinkled. Clearly he's been here most, if not all, of the night.
It's easier to look at the box than it is Jon.]
I binned yours, you know. Ages ago.
[Well. Half true.]
no subject
Date: 2019-02-02 04:39 am (UTC)Bought my own.
[ He considers getting his chair before changing his mind and sitting on the ground not far from where the legs are sticking out. He can't quite resist that one, though.]
I'm just... trying.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-02 04:47 am (UTC)[It doesn't sound like the kind of question that's meant to be answered, which is good, because no answer would be quite right. After another long moment, Tim shifts to the side. Enough that there might be room for a second body, if he's so inclined.]
I'd say I'm sorry, but I don't think I am. Not really. Not for that.
[Maybe for other things. Or about other things.]
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:Gerry--
Date: 2019-02-03 06:20 am (UTC)I may or may not have had a very, very brief goth phase during first year
Wherein I may have told this very attractive boy that I was a vampire and related to Bram himself et cetera
In my defense, you would have too
[BESIDE THE POINT THOUGH MOVING ON.]
And yes, Gerry. You wouldn't be the first guy in history to have had a shitty mother and a shitty childhood and still managed to make it work for you
no subject
Date: 2019-02-03 06:31 am (UTC)Then I became creepy-creepy and it worked with a certain type of people and that was good enough.
Until a very certain and prominent point? It worked well enough for me. Worked better for others in the things I was willing to do that others couldn't and wouldn't.
Not even your lot.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 12:09 am (UTC)Suppose you're right, though, creepy-creepy does tend to work for some. I might in fact know some of those.
Also, easy with the 'my lot,' you know that I never wanted any part of this mess. And there's plenty I'm willing to do that Jon wouldn't and Martin couldn't.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 02:33 am (UTC)Given where my life is now and the things I still need to do? Creepy-Creepy serves me well. You don't actually seem truly bothered by it.
[He's still talking to him, after all.]
Never a slight on you, Tim. It is merely saying that the Institute needs my skills, and they don't care how I get results. They never have. Your lot being the Institute.
I apologize if it's insulting you. Never the intention.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-04 10:53 pm (UTC)Really? Well then, I suppose I can accept it in the spirit in which it was given. Pun not intended.
I'm not bothered by you, actually, I've known creepier. Suppose I am a bit touchy about the institute lately. A lot touchy, maybe. It's just...grating. To realize I never got a choice in the matter, I just belong to it now.
no subject
Date: 2019-02-05 03:48 am (UTC)But you have some choices, even if you're stuck with this. Choices that can fix some of these things. If not for you, for others.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2019-03-09 06:54 am (UTC)It's fine. I mean, really, it's not, but it is, you know? Like I said. Complicated. Also not the point I was trying to make.
Point is, it isn't that often I meet someone I'm interested in more than flirting and fooling around with. She was one. You're another. You, Georgie Barker, are Interesting with a capital I. It's worth a little subtlety, now and then.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-09 07:12 am (UTC)[ . . . ]
oh.
for the record? you were being subtle enough that i didn't notice. frankly, i assumed you wouldn't really like me because how things have been at work with jon. and no, i'm not going to ask you or him about it or take sides.
i know jon, i only need to make a few educated guesses but he's not a bad person. whatever happened i hope you both will one day be able to talk things out. or try.
but
what i'm trying to say is, you're interesting too, tim stoker, i wish we had met before. back when you and jon were close. though i suppose at that time he was busy pretending i didn't exist.
i don't see the point of regretting most things, but time wasted like that - i guess, part of me wishes it could be fixed. that things could go back to better times for everyone.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-11 06:22 pm (UTC)You and I being friends has nothing to do with you and Jon. I can keep those things separate. Although I will say I have no idea how he ended up with someone like you, you're way out of his league
Mine, too, but that's never stopped me before
no subject
Date: 2019-03-12 12:02 am (UTC)listen, i'm very easy to get a date with. all you have to do is like hungarian food and voila. date!
tim, you're prettier than me. that's an actual fact.
no subject
Date: 2019-03-12 04:41 am (UTC)But I'm pretty good at keeping things separate, at least when it comes to people. Probably too good, if I'm being honest, which I usually am with you
So you can believe me when I say that you're definitely wrong about that last bit, totally objectively speaking
I've never had Hungarian before, but I'll try anything twice, especially if a beautiful woman tells me she loves it
no subject
Date: 2019-03-12 04:53 am (UTC)i appreciate your honesty. it's refreshing, really, i don't like to pry so it's nice when someone just tells you things without having to play 20 questions.
maybe we should get someone else to decide.
oh, i see you've turned on the charm now, stoker. this clearly means we're going out for hungarian food on the weekend.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: